MIDLIFE MEN'S GROUP

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Please reach out to me directly at hedleylmft@gmail.com​ with your contact information if you are interested in joining.

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This men’s group is for men in middle age who are in a midlife crisis.  A midlife crisis manifests in many different ways. Outwardly, it might be extravagant purchases, or significant changes in relationships, or changes in employment.  Inwardly, it can come with strong mood swings (anger, depression, apathy), nostalgia and reflecting on the past, and a lack of a sense of purpose.  There can also be a sense of loneliness and lack of connection.

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DETAILS

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• The group will meet weekly for 6 weeks

• Sessions will be 90 minutes long, and they are held on an online video telehealth call.  It is each participant’s responsibility to take the call in a private location with a good internet connection, where he feels safe and can be sure that the call will not be overheard.

• Cost is $60 for each session ($360 for the duration of the group)

• This is a closed group, not drop in.  There will be 4-6 participants.

• Sessions will be Friday mornings from 8:00-9:30am.

  • September 8

  • September 15

  • September 22

  • September 29

  • October 6

  • October 13

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Please reach out to me directly at hedleylmft@gmail.com​ with your contact information if you are interested in joining.

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FAQS

 

Why is the group only 6 weeks?

 

• It is really important for everyone to attend every session, so I’m keeping the commitment short.

• Six weeks gives each person the chance to get a feel for being in a group and to evaluate how it is supporting him.

• After 6 weeks, I will ask the group to consider next steps, including the possibility of moving the group to every 2 weeks, to changing times, to keep me in as a paid moderator, to share contact information amongst the participants so they can continue on their own, or to simply close the group.  I will continue to run groups, so if some people want to continue on in a new group, that will also potentially be an option.

 

What skills will I learn and practice from attending this group?

 

In this group, we’ll be using or developing:

• Active listening.  I heard a sportscaster once say, “I have two modes, talking, and waiting to talk.  Dead airtime is bad.”  This group seeks to teach a third state of active listening, so that each member can also be heard and feel that what he says matters. 

• Vulnerability: A big part of why I keep this a closed group is that I believe that having a closed container makes it easier to share things we normally keep close to the vest.

• Conversation skills: Many of us know how to have a conversation with another person for the sake of sharing information, but many of us have not been taught about how to share how we’re feeling.  For example, if asked about challenges in marriage, I could say “well, in Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel said…” and give a quote.  In this group, I’m looking to encourage participants to share their own experience and their feelings about it.  It’s fine if an expert helped give words to that experience, but I’m looking for the core of the contributions to be about the participants themselves.

• Growth: Each week I’ll choose a lens that strongly affect men in our culture.  Which ones I choose will depend on what I learn from an initial free consultation with each participant.

 

What subjects will we be covering in this group?

 

Each week will have its own theme, which I’ll choose based on an initial free consultation with each member before the first meeting.  Some potential topics include:

• Parents and parenting: how are we handling our parents aging?  How are we handling our kids aging?  What patterns have been passed from generation to generation? 

• Our relationship to sex: Is it important, is it part of our identity, is it present, how does it connect to the rest of our lives?

• Drugs/Alchohol (recreational, prescription, over the counter): How has our relationship to drugs changed?  Some people need drugs because of a chronic condition.  Alcohol might used to simply be part of partying, but now maybe we “need” a drink at the end of the day.  Did you used to use recreational drugs for fun, and now it’s something you’re using to figure out your life purpose?

• What do we need from our intimate relationships?  Are those needs being met?  If you are in a long term relationship, is that relationship a safe space?  Can you count on that person in the same way as the day you first made a commitment to each other?

• Our relationship to the feminine and how we feel about words like “patriarchy” and “toxic masculinity."

• Our relationship to emotions.  What emotions can you share with your family and friends today that you couldn’t before.  What emotions remain hard to share?

• Triggers: What brings out our worst?  When do we get jealous, angry, fearful, depressed?  What triggers those bad spaces

 

Please reach out to me directly at hedleylmft@gmail.com​ with your contact information if you are interested in joining.